Principle 2
IDENTITY
"While he was still speaking, a bright cloud overshadowed them, and behold, a voice out of the cloud said, "This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well-pleased; listen to Him." Matthew 17:5
Becoming a single mom felt like moving to a different planet. Everything seemed so strange and totally out of place from the life I once knew. I was lost, and had no concept of who I was anymore. When I looked in the mirror I saw a strange new reflection staring back.I constantly asked myself, "Who am I as a single mom now?"
If you were once married and now divorced or widowed, your entire identity may have been based off of being a wife. You may wonder, "Who am I now that I do not have the role or title of wife anymore?" Maybe you are a teenager or have never been married before, and now you find your self in a new role; single motherhood. Just because your position, role, title or marital status changed, nothing has changed about who you are.
One of the greatest questions ever presented to me was from Dr. Charles Stanley. We went into his office to speak for a while before going into the recording studio. He looked at me from across his desk and said, "Lori, tell me about who you are?"
What a fascinating question. There were several choices that I briefly considered telling him about who I was. I could have said that I am the author of the 21 Principles, a speaker, founder of Hope and Help for the Single Mom or Eric's mom. What would you have said? How would you respond to the question, "Tell me about who you are?"
If I answered Dr. Stanley by saying that I was Lori Little that would have been telling him my name. If I said I was an author and speaker that would have been telling him what I do. If I said I was a single mother that would have been telling him my marital and parental status.
I did not want to tell him how I used to think of myself as a single mom; a total looser. I put on that "Scarlet D" and labeled myself as divorced. Some of us have been divorced more than once, so we add more "Scarlet D's" to our titles. I was merely exchanging one false title for another. I took off the false title of Mrs. and wife, and exchanged it for baggage, unwanted, rejected, ugly, fat, shame, guilt, package deal, insecure and insignificant. I thought that the titles I wore reflected who I truly was. I hated myself more and more with every false title I added. I could not even look in the mirror without being disgusted at what I saw. I remember not even being able to look at a picture of myself without finding fault or cutting myself down.
The more I hated myself the more withdrawn and isolated I became. I just wanted to lock myself up and hide from everyone. I even tried to hide from God. I also disconnected myself from my family, friends and church.
I remember one particularly lonely night I felt a nudge in my Spirit to read the beginning of Genesis. When I got to 3:8-11, the verses hit me like a ton of bricks. They said, "They (meaning Adam and Eve) heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. Then the Lord God called to the man, and said to him, "Where are you?" He said, "I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was
naked; so I hid myself. And He (God) said, "Who told you that you were naked?"
I immediately felt the Holy Spirit ask me, "Who told you that you are a looser? Who told you that you and your child are a package deal? Who told you that you are rejected? Who told you that you are unwanted or insignificant? That is not the way that I see you." I had to ask myself, "Who did tell me all of those things?" I came to realize that I brought a lot of those things on myself and accepted what other people said about me as truth. I also learned that Satan whispered a bunch of lies to me that I bought right into.
I started thinking about some of things that happened to me when I was just a young girl. I recalled some of the unpleasant things that happened, and the terrible names I was called. What hurt me the most however were the sins that I brought into my own life as I became older, especially with men. I got involved with them because I felt so empty on the inside.
What I have learned is that my feelings caused the false labels. My husband left me, so I felt rejected and unloved. He left me for another woman which made me feel like a piece of trash. I felt awful from all the offensive names I was once called. Because I felt like a divorced looser, I acted like a divorced looser. Because I felt like a piece of trash, I acted like a piece of trash. I hated myself. I remember thinking, "Who is ever going to love me? I have all this baggage, and I'm a divorced looser with a child." Because I hated myself so much, I lowered my standards in the men I got into relationships with. I did not think I was worthy enough to have anything better come along in my life. It makes me sick to my stomach that I ever once considered my son and myself as a package deal or baggage. What a horrible, horrible lie. I do not know how
much cheaper I could get than to believe lies like that. I was letting my feelings decide what I thought was the truth about myself. The way I behaved was based on what I believed about myself. Thinking that way is wrong. One of the greatest things I believe I ever heard the Lord speak to my Spirit was when He said, "Lori, the only person you are is the one that I say you are."
What changed my life forever was to see myself the way God truly sees me. Because I changed my way of thinking my son changed his way of thinking. Nowhere in my Bible can I find where God says that I am a looser, baggage, unloved and all of the other things I saw myself as.
Let me share with you what I found in my Bible about how God sees me.
I am the apple of God's eye (Deuteronomy 32:9-10)
I am the salt and light of the earth (Matthew 5:13-14)
I am God's child (John 1:12)
I am Christ's friend (John 15:15)
I am a branch of the true vine, a channel of His life (John 15:1, 5)
I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit (John 15:16)
I am a personal witness of Christ (Acts 1:8)
I have been justified (Romans 3:24)
I am free from condemnation (Romans 8:1, 2)
I am assured that all things work together for my good (Romans 8:28)
I am free from any condemning charges against me (Romans 8:31-34)
I cannot be separated from the love of God (Romans 8:35-39)
I have been sanctified in Christ (1Cornithians 1:2)
I am righteous and holy (1Cornithians 1:30)
I am God's temple (1 Corinthians 3:16)
I am united with the Lord, I am one spirit with Him (1Cornithians 6:17)
I have been bought with a price. I belong to God (1Corinthians 6:20)
I am a member of Christ's Body (1 Corinthians 12:27)
I have been established, anointed and sealed by God (2 Corinthians 1:21, 22)
I am a new creature (2 Corinthians 5:17)
I have received God's righteousness (2 Corinthians 5:21)
I am God's co-worker (2 Corinthians 6:1)
I am one in Christ (Galatians 3:28)
I am a saint (Ephesians 1:1)
I am blessed with every spiritual blessing (Ephesians 1:3)
I am holy, blameless and covered with God's love (Ephesians 1:4)
I have been adopted as God's child (Ephesians 1:5-6)
I am forgiven, and my sins have been taken away (Ephesians 1:7)
I am marked as belonging to God (Ephesians 1:13)
I have been raised up to sit with Christ (Ephesians 2:6)
I am God's work of art (Ephesians 2:10)
I have been brought near to God (Ephesians 2:13)
I have direct access to God through the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 2:18)
I share in the promise of Christ (Ephesians 3:6)
I can come into God's presence with freedom and confidence(Ephesians 3:12)
I am a member of Christ's body (Ephesians 5:29-30)
I am confident that the good work God has begun
in me will be perfected (Philippians 1:6)
I am a citizen of Heaven (Philippians 3:20)
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me(Philippians 4:3)
I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins (Colossians 1:14)
I am complete in Christ (Colossians 2:10)
I am set free from my sinful nature (Colossians 2:11)
I am hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3)
I have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power love and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7)
I have eternal glory (2 Timothy 2:10)
I can find grace and mercy in time of need (Hebrews 4:16)
I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me (1 John 5:18)
My first reaction when I read these verses was, "That is the most beautiful thing that I have ever heard about myself." Then along came Satan saying, "Those things are not for you, not with all of the things that you have done
in your life." Satan does not want you to understand and trust God's truth about who you are. If you do not believe these verses are true, then you can call God a liar. Remember that Satan is the father of lies, not God.
I had to read these scriptures several times a day for an extraordinarily long time before I started to believe they were all true about me. I had to allow God's word to remove the lies that I once believed, and reprogram my mind with His truth.
You must allow the truth of God's word to determine what you believe about yourself. Then your belief about yourself will determine your behavior, and your behavior will determine how you feel about yourself.
Let me give you an example of what I mean. The truth of God's word in 1 Peter 2:9 says, "I am a chosen race, a royal Priesthood." I now believe that I am a Queen to the King of Kings. I choose to behave as royalty like Proverbs 31:10 says, "A wife of noble character, who can find?
Her value is far greater than rubies." You see I am not out looking for a husband anymore, or looking for love in all the wrong places. I no longer go out on useless dates just so I can feel better about myself or to feel more like a
woman. Nor am I dating just so I can have something to do on a Saturday night, or to get some free food. Ouch! I know that one hurt.
The truth isthat I have a husband who is so much more than that. God's word says in Isaiah 54:5, "Your husband is your maker. The Lord Almighty is his name." Now, I am committed to being the best Bride of Christ, woman and mother that I can be. That my dear single mom is all you will ever need to be happy in life.
As a single mom, you have to understand and accept what Colossians 2:10 says, "In Him you have been made complete." If God has an earthly husband for you he will be looking for a woman who knows who she really is "In Christ," and acts like it too!
My dear single mom, when you start to understand and live out these scriptures so will your children. I read these scriptures to my son Eric every day, so he will know who he is in Christ. Our children need to hear sound and positive things from their mother. With all they are bombarded with from school, television and radio they need to know they are accepted, secure and significant in God's eyes and their mother's.
My son has memorized these verses for himself. Our children need to get truth engrained in their mind just like we do. They must learn how to win the battle for their minds on their own. The last thing I need is for my child to grow up wearing the false titles the world has to offer him. I refuse to let my son live a defeated life.
I want to share a story with you how the word of God changed my son's thinking. When Eric was only eight
years old, he came home from school with a hurt look on his face. When I asked him what was wrong, he said someone on the bus called him stupid. I asked him if it
was true, and he said, "No". Then I asked him to tell me who he was. He recited off those scriptures, and when he was done an enormous smile came on his face. He went out to play basketball and acted like nothing bad had ever happened.
There are so many voices shouting for our attention. We have to decide which voice we are going to listen to. Will it be our own voice? What other people say? Or the enemy whispering lies in our ear? The best choice is to do what Matthew 17:5 says, "This is my son, listen to Him."
So how did I answer Dr. Stanley's question? I just said I was a child of God disguised here on earth as a speaker and author.
Questions:
- What are the false label's you are wearing?
- Identify who gave them to you.
- What will you do with the false labels?
- What will you say the next time someone asks you about who you are?
- Read the scriptures out loud to yourself and to your children on a daily basis.
This is from the Single mom Bible study ...21 principles for single moms by Lori Little. I am considering host it once a month on a saturday morning at my house... Would you be interested in coming, and learning more about what God says about you, and where you are in life, and where you are going?
Please let me know :)
May the Lord Bless you Richly and shower you in his Love
